Circuit of the Americas, the Formula 1 track in Austin, is built for speed. Its new landmark is a fiberglass cowboy hat 75 feet long, with a bar inside. It will not move an inch.

“Why do the ducks dive?” asked Tommy. His friend Harp thought it over.

— from More Toasts, 1922. Got one worse than that? Hit reply.

She says your egg is important to her, and the hold music is clucking.

Seen something funnier? Reply with a picture you took — a dog in a hat, a sign gone wrong, whatever made you laugh this week.

October 21, 1973: Fred Dryer of the Los Angeles Rams tackled the Green Bay quarterback in the end zone. That counts as a safety, which is worth two points. On the next Green Bay possession, he did it again. Dryer was the first NFL player to score two safeties in one game. The Rams won, 24 to 7.

Also today: In 1959, the Guggenheim Museum opened on Fifth Avenue in New York. Architect Frank Lloyd Wright signed the contract in 1943. He died six months before opening day.

In early 1964, which song gave the Beatles their first number one in America?

A) Yesterday
B) I Want to Hold Your Hand
C) Hey Jude
D) Let It Be

Answer’s at the very bottom. Try it first. 👀

Trecia Crawford is the crossing guard at Moss Haven Elementary, a school in Richardson, Texas, near Dallas. Her car broke down about five months before the school’s dads stepped in. She paid for rides to work until her money ran out. Then she took the bus.

A group of dads who call themselves the Carpool Dads raised $6,800, the school district said. A car dealer found a white Jeep and sold it at a steep discount. The extra money paid for her car insurance.

Dad Marcus Walther said she is out there every morning and every afternoon. The district posted the surprise on Facebook. In the photo, she covers her mouth in shock.

Keep smiling,
The Distraction Desk

B — I Want to Hold Your Hand. It held the top spot for seven weeks, until another Beatles song, She Loves You, replaced it. On April 4, 1964, the Beatles held all five top spots on the Hot 100.

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