Cheryl Fitzgarrald lost her wedding ring at a football game in Nebraska. She assumed it was at home. It sat in the campus police lost-and-found for a month.

Two old sailors argued over who was better at math. The captain asked, “A crew catches 500 pounds of cod. It sells at 6 cents a pound. What does it earn?” Old Bill asked, “Is it cod?” The captain said yes.

— from Toaster’s Handbook, 1914. Got one worse than that? Hit reply.

Confident takeoff. The landing is still pending.

Seen something funnier? Reply with a picture you took — a dog in a hat, a sign gone wrong, whatever made you laugh this week.

October 28, 1965: workers set the last piece of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. The morning sun had heated the south leg, and the steel had grown. Firefighters sprayed it with cold water to cool it. Jacks pushed the legs apart, and the 8-foot section slid in.

Also today: same date, 1955: Bill Gates was born in Seattle. Twenty years later he left Harvard and started Microsoft with his friend Paul Allen.

In 1959, which company introduced the Barbie doll?

A) Hasbro
B) Mattel
C) Ideal
D) Kenner

Answer’s at the very bottom. Try it first. 👀

London’s old sewers overflowed into the River Thames when heavy rain came. A 15-mile tunnel called Tideway now catches much of that overflow before it reaches the river. Tideway published its first full-year results this month.

Before the tunnel, the overflow averaged more than 21 million cubic meters a year. In 2025 it was just under 3 million. That is a drop of 86%, or from more than 8,000 Olympic swimming pools a year to fewer than 1,200.

About 84 metric tons of sewage litter stayed out of the river in 2025. Wet wipes and plastics were part of it. The 86% figure is modeled, not measured, and covers the tunnel’s first full year of work.

Keep smiling,
The Distraction Desk

B — Mattel. Barbie debuted at the American Toy Fair in New York on March 9, 1959. Co-founder Ruth Handler named her after her daughter, Barbara.

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