Karl Bushby left Chile on foot in 1998, planning to be home in twelve years. The Channel Tunnel would not let him walk through its service tunnel, so he swam the English Channel this month. After 28 years, the finish line is his mother’s house.

A friend asks a husband, “Why don’t you give your wife an allowance?”

— from Toaster’s Handbook, 1914. Got one worse than that? Hit reply.

Portrait day, and the feathers come first.

Seen something funnier? Reply with a picture you took — a dog in a hat, a sign gone wrong, whatever made you laugh this week.

On October 23, 1970, Gary Gabelich drove a rocket car called the Blue Flame across the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. His speed was 622.4 miles an hour. It ran on liquefied natural gas and hydrogen peroxide. The record stood for 13 years, until a car named Thrust2 broke it in 1983.

Also today: In 1958, the Smurfs first appeared in a Belgian comics magazine. Peyo, their cartoonist, put them in an adventure about a magic flute. They were small helpers in it.

In 1984, what did Motorola charge for its first handheld cell phone?

A) $395
B) $995
C) $3,995
D) $9,995

Answer’s at the very bottom. Try it first. 👀

Dale is 86 and lives in Mineral Wells, Texas, about 51 miles west of Fort Worth. Since 1987 he has been building a 62-foot steel boat in his front yard, by hand. That is longer than a city bus, and the ocean is hours away.

The boat is about 75 percent finished. A steep hill separates it from the road, so moving it takes heavy machinery. Laurence Benson started a GoFundMe page with a first goal of $50,000 for finishing work, machinery and a ride to the water.

As of Friday, about 1,600 donors had given more than $44,000. The page says the money goes straight to Dale, and none of it goes to the organizers. In its words: “His dream is to see her on the water.”

Keep smiling,
The Distraction Desk

C — $3,995. It took about ten hours to charge and gave about 30 minutes of talk time.

Know someone who needs a laugh today? Forward this to a friend